If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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