Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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