I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I party with great urgency now.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
