Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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