I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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