I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
