i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
