Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
