i would punch a child for taco bell
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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