is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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