sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
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