i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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