How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
