The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I don't deserve a penis
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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