YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
