do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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