She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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