I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Your cock deserves a montage
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
