You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize