Why does Corona taste like a burp?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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