Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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