I heard we made out
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
