Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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