Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
