Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
