oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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