So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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