Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
