There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
