...so i touched it.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
