Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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