I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
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