I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
