so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
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