she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
