In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
