we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
