how can u be prego again
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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