I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
home. puking in laundry basket.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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