just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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