He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
