i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
