He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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