"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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