Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
