how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
