somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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