I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
