out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
