WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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