So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My ass is underappreciated
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
