Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
