That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
