i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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